Forgiving myself

I am taking a page out of a friend's blog that discusses her weight loss journey. She talks about making amends for gaining the weight. After reading her post, I realized that I needed to forgive myself too. From the beginning of my journey I would constantly beat myself up about taking so long to make the decision to lose the weight or for regaining the 30 pounds I had lost for my wedding and putting on 25 additional pounds or for gaining weight at all after high school. I would also beat myself up about not staying active after high school when I loved to work out. More importantly, I felt that I deserved to get diagnosed with IgA Nephropathy because I had "let myself go" even though I know that the research points to no definitive cause.

My friend's blog post really hit home with me and I noticed that I constantly beat myself up about gaining the weight and add in a side order of guilt. This only makes me feel worse about myself and distracts me from my goal. Today, I am forgiving myself for gaining the weight. I am forgetting about all those times when I verbally and emotionally beat myself up for letting my butt widen. Continuing to stay stuck in that maladaptive mindset only shields my view of the new and exciting journey I am on and distracts me from seeing all the amazing progress I am making on a daily basis. No more looking at past mistakes. I am going to enjoy the new path that has been laid out in front of me. Thank you, Melissa, for making me realize that I needed to forgive myself!